General Konoha
by ZeekUchiha
Summary: Parody of probably every soap opera. Dr. Itachi faces the problems of everyday life. rated M because there might be explicitness in later chapters might change to T if not. Please review!


Disclaimer: This story is taking place in an AU. This story is a parody and makes fun of soap operas so if you like those umm too bad this was too good to resist.

**General Konoha**

**Key:**

**!!!!- Someone just had a dramatic pause and looked at the screen**

**XxXx- Someone just fainted**

**TtTt- Someone is going to reveal a secret and/ it's going to commercial**

**ZzZz- Coming back from commercial**

**KkKk- Preview for next episode**

It was 8 a.m. on a Wednesday morning as a tall, dark, and handsome man with long flowing black hair walked through the hospital doors. "How is she doing," asked the doctor in a strong yet gentle tone. "She's doing fine. For now," said the nurse handing the man his white coat. "Oh and nurse," called the doctor. "Yes Dr. Itachi" said the nurse with anticipation in her eyes. Itachi simply just flashed his signature smile so that the nurse fainted. **XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX. **As Itachi walked to the delivery room at a steady pace his person nurses went to his respective sides. " Nurse Anko Nurse Kurenai how are you two doing," asked Dr. Itachi not slowing his pace to the delivery room. "I'm doing well doctor. I'm still in love with you even though I have a husband," said Nurse Anko with a straight face. "I too am well doctor. I recently discovered I'm pregnant, but I have a brain tumor" said Nurse Kurenai in a serious tone. As they closer to the delivery room someone fell down an elevator shaft. No one seemed to noticed and the threesome continued their way to the delivery room. As they entered the delivery room one of the doctors came up to Dr. Itachi. "Doctor there's a problem!" said the worried nurse.

**TtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtTtT**

Now a word from our sponsors:

How many times has this happened to you?

Oh no! I spilled wine all over my new dress what am I going to do!?

Don't worry with the power of Oxymoron you'll never have to worry about stains again!

Oxymoron what's that?

Oxymoron is a powerful stain remover that works instantly with just one spray! And to prove it we're even going to add sauce to this stain.

Oh dear!

Now watch with the power of Oxymoron the stain disappears instantly.

Wow it's gone before my very eyes.

You bet it is! Hahahahahahahaha!

Warning Oxymoron should not be used on most types of stains. Oxymoron is acidic and may burn the clothing and the skin if you are wearing that article of clothing. Spraying Oxymoron more than once may result in the following side effects: Excessive nosebleeds, heart failure, paralysis, growth of tumors, inflammation of brain cavity, reduction of testicles and breasts, and other more serious after effects.

Remember it's Oxymoron or nothing!

**ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz**

What's the problem nurse?" said Dr. Itachi while putting on his sterile rubber gloves. "Well it's not the baby it's the mother. She has… amnesia!!!!" gasped the nurse. Dr. Itachi walked over to the woman. "How are you doing?" said the doctor in a strong yet caring tone. "Who am I? Who are you? I don't remember for I have… amnesia!!!!" said the woman in a weak tone. "Dear god it's worse than I thought!" masculinely said Itachi getting ready to deliver the woman's baby. "Push damn you push!" shouted Itachi in an angry yet somewhat calming tone. "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" shouted the woman as she pushed with all the strength she had in her body. In a matter of seconds the cry of a baby was heard and the nurses cut off the baby's umbilical cord. Congratulations miss you have a daughter!" said Dr. Itachi proudly. "A daughter how grand," said the woman weakly. "Yes but she has a penis! "We must prep for surgery stat!" said Dr. Itachi grabbing hold of a scalpel. "No doctor stop it's a boy!" shouted the nurse taking the baby from the kind doctor and handing it to the mother. "Thank you nurse I understand that even I make mistakes," said Itachi flashing his signature smile. Every woman in the room fainted and a male doctor fainted as well. **XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx.** The new mother seemed to have fainted as well as the crying baby fell to the floor. The kind doctor picked up the child and handed it to a male doctor. "Where is the baby's father," said Dr. Itachi in a sexy yet caring tone. "He seems to be in a coma after he fell down an elevator shaft. It matters not because after the fall this baby has… amnesia!!!!" gasped the doctor.

At the end of the day the amazing doctor had saved many lives and was ready to go home. He saw a familiar face stand in front of him. "Ah Sasuke what a pleasant surprise! I didn't expect a friend to visit me here," said the doctor flashing his signature smile. "Itachi there is something I must tell you. I'm not just your friend I am… your long lost brother" gasped Sasuke. "Dear god how can this be!" shouted Itachi. "It is simple dear brother for your father was my sister's evil twin" shouted Sasuke. "I don't understand. How did I not know for all these years?" questioned Itachi with a handsome civil tone. "Easily Itachi for your father had… amnesia!!!!" gasped Sasuke once more.

After finding out so many answers but getting so much more questions Itachi drove home to his glorious estate. "Oh Ino I'm home!" shouted Itachi calling his Spanish maid. "Buenos tardes Senior Itachi. How was jour day?" asked the sexy woman. "It was well," said Itachi putting his coat on the coat rack. "I must tell jou something sir," said the woman the light revealing the beautiful features of her face. "What is it?" asked Itachi with a sudden burst of wind opening up his shirt to reveal his muscular toned body and his long hair blowing in the wind. "I love jou!" said the woman grabbing hold the man. "I… I love you too!" said the man embracing the vulnerable woman. "But I can't be with you!" said the woman turning away. "Why not?" questioned the man with a hurt voice. "Answers will come soon. But for now you must go see… Bootsy!!!!" gasped the woman.

**KkKkKkKkKkKkKkKkKkKkKkKkKkKkKkK**

Why won't Itachi's love be returned? Why has Sasuke picked that moment to tell Itachi he was his brother? Who is Bootsy! All will be answered on the next episode of **General Konoha.**

Alright guys that's the first chapter for this fic lol I was really in the mood to make a humorous fic. If you have any reviews bad or good I'll appreciate them. I'm sorry if you're a fan of soap operas and this offended you. More to come soon!


End file.
